Sugarcoating Bull$h!t

I recently  came to the realization that I am tired of people pretending. Pretending that they never get frustrated with their children (not saying you should scream at them in public but have the decency when I hiss at my kid through my teeth to "straighten up" not to look at me like I am a out of control mother, have a bad day and feed their kids hotdogs (the over-processed kind that are full of nitrates), or forget their mom's birthday, or argue with their spouse ( not asking you to air your dirty laundry just don't pretend that it is always perfect).

I admire people who work hard at relationships and aren't afraid to show the imperfections. Nothing is perfect - STOP PRETENDING!

As mothers (especially the ones who work outside the home) we have a hard enough time getting everything done in a day without our peer group looking on with judgement and condemnation. Maybe things aren't going perfectly, but at the end of the day when you are sitting at home in your child's bed at 20 minutes past bedtime, because you promised to read them a story and a promise is a promise- You are a good mom. No one sees that mom so - STOP JUDGING.

Having lots of money doesn't make you a better parent. Don't get me wrong money is great! It makes the world go round; however, taking your kid on 12 vacations a year and buying them everything their heart ever desired, and entertaining them every second of the day, is not good for them. Some day when they are young and independent they are going to wonder why they can't afford to go on vacation (either because of money or the fact that they have not earned time off from their jobs yet). Or maybe they will be angry because they are bored and no one is there to keep them entertained. Its just not real life. Real life is hard work and perseverance and and making your own fun. The part they never saw out of their parents was when they had to work out a budget  or figure out how they were going to pay off a credit card bill that was last summer's vacation - DON'T SPEND YOUR LIFE SPOILING YOUR CHILDREN

The one that has hit home the most recently is how people pretend that broken families are fun. FUN? Jake comes from a broken family and I like to think that we have a pretty healthy relationship with all of the kid's grandparents. However, now that we are out of the military it comes to a  point when we are approaching birthday season and we have to figure out how to have a party where everyone is invited and still gets along.  Its not fun to have to worry about these things. Its not fun to juggle multiple holidays. Its not fun to have your mom and dad not get along anymore (even if they are amicable in public we all know there are things that go on behind closed doors that make it uncomfortable). I would give anything to have just two sets of grandparents for my children.  Divorce is ugly and difficult, I understand that you love your family but - STOP ACTING LIKE YOU LOVE THAT YOU ARE FROM A SPLIT FAMILY

The final point that I have to make in this rant is the one of spending time with your children. I am SO tired of parents leaving their children to be raised by strangers. Don't leave it up to some stranger to do for you because you don't have the intestinal fortitude to discipline your kids. Your kids are supposed to test your patience. Its part of being a parent. The reason I am so irritated by this is because I was recently told that my husband and I are martyrs for staying home with our kids so much and not getting out on our own more often. We love our kids.We love them even when they are trying to learn how to whistle and it is annoying  us to death. We love them when the set the table and accidentally drop and break our favorite glass. We yell sometimes. We give spankings. We send them to their rooms. All of these are forms of love. Some times not the best form but it shows we care. We care enough to spend all the perfect and imperfect moments of their lives. I pray that in about 10 years when they are dealing with their first heartbreak that they come to me or their dad to talk about it and not run to someone else because they know that we have always been the ones there for them. I read something the other day that was pretty profound considering its simplicity. 'If you listen to and are there for your child's little things, eventually  they will come to you with the big things.' STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE RAISING YOUR CHILDREN- A STRANGER IS.

This is kind of emotionally draining- I am going to put a pin in this for now and hopefully come back and finish it soon.