Sugarcoating Bull$h!t

I recently  came to the realization that I am tired of people pretending. Pretending that they never get frustrated with their children (not saying you should scream at them in public but have the decency when I hiss at my kid through my teeth to "straighten up" not to look at me like I am a out of control mother, have a bad day and feed their kids hotdogs (the over-processed kind that are full of nitrates), or forget their mom's birthday, or argue with their spouse ( not asking you to air your dirty laundry just don't pretend that it is always perfect).

I admire people who work hard at relationships and aren't afraid to show the imperfections. Nothing is perfect - STOP PRETENDING!

As mothers (especially the ones who work outside the home) we have a hard enough time getting everything done in a day without our peer group looking on with judgement and condemnation. Maybe things aren't going perfectly, but at the end of the day when you are sitting at home in your child's bed at 20 minutes past bedtime, because you promised to read them a story and a promise is a promise- You are a good mom. No one sees that mom so - STOP JUDGING.

Having lots of money doesn't make you a better parent. Don't get me wrong money is great! It makes the world go round; however, taking your kid on 12 vacations a year and buying them everything their heart ever desired, and entertaining them every second of the day, is not good for them. Some day when they are young and independent they are going to wonder why they can't afford to go on vacation (either because of money or the fact that they have not earned time off from their jobs yet). Or maybe they will be angry because they are bored and no one is there to keep them entertained. Its just not real life. Real life is hard work and perseverance and and making your own fun. The part they never saw out of their parents was when they had to work out a budget  or figure out how they were going to pay off a credit card bill that was last summer's vacation - DON'T SPEND YOUR LIFE SPOILING YOUR CHILDREN

The one that has hit home the most recently is how people pretend that broken families are fun. FUN? Jake comes from a broken family and I like to think that we have a pretty healthy relationship with all of the kid's grandparents. However, now that we are out of the military it comes to a  point when we are approaching birthday season and we have to figure out how to have a party where everyone is invited and still gets along.  Its not fun to have to worry about these things. Its not fun to juggle multiple holidays. Its not fun to have your mom and dad not get along anymore (even if they are amicable in public we all know there are things that go on behind closed doors that make it uncomfortable). I would give anything to have just two sets of grandparents for my children.  Divorce is ugly and difficult, I understand that you love your family but - STOP ACTING LIKE YOU LOVE THAT YOU ARE FROM A SPLIT FAMILY

The final point that I have to make in this rant is the one of spending time with your children. I am SO tired of parents leaving their children to be raised by strangers. Don't leave it up to some stranger to do for you because you don't have the intestinal fortitude to discipline your kids. Your kids are supposed to test your patience. Its part of being a parent. The reason I am so irritated by this is because I was recently told that my husband and I are martyrs for staying home with our kids so much and not getting out on our own more often. We love our kids.We love them even when they are trying to learn how to whistle and it is annoying  us to death. We love them when the set the table and accidentally drop and break our favorite glass. We yell sometimes. We give spankings. We send them to their rooms. All of these are forms of love. Some times not the best form but it shows we care. We care enough to spend all the perfect and imperfect moments of their lives. I pray that in about 10 years when they are dealing with their first heartbreak that they come to me or their dad to talk about it and not run to someone else because they know that we have always been the ones there for them. I read something the other day that was pretty profound considering its simplicity. 'If you listen to and are there for your child's little things, eventually  they will come to you with the big things.' STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE RAISING YOUR CHILDREN- A STRANGER IS.

This is kind of emotionally draining- I am going to put a pin in this for now and hopefully come back and finish it soon.

Welcoming Autumn !

This week has truly felt like fall is here. I love fall more than any other time of the year. I especially love fall in the Mid-West. It brings with it apples, and pumpkins, cool crisp nights, bon fires, golden and crimson maples and a general feeling of relaxation. I have missed autumn the last few years living in the south. There was nothing significant to mark the end of summer - it never ends there. : )

Baleigh and I have been enjoying our last few days of summer and celebrating the first signs of fall. This week we canned almost 30 quarts of tomatoes, salsa, and last night habanero jelly to be enjoyed later this year. We picked up the sweet corn we froze earlier this summer from Grandma Jill's this morning now that we have our own chest freezer. Then we headed home to get ready to go to story time at the library. Baleigh is really happy to have some different things to be doing now that big brother is in school. Tuesday is now our library day and starting next Wednesday she will be taking ballet classes up in Monroe, WI. She is SO excited to be starting those classes.

Thor is enjoying school more than we could have ever expected. He has gotten used to riding the bus and has made several good friends at school (some of which live in our neighborhood) and loves his teacher as well. We feel very fortunate that he was able to be in Mr Blakely's class as we thought having a male figure at school would be goo for him. He had a couple of rough days learning that you can't just talk whenever you want and that you have to really learn how to know when it is a good idea to just walk away from someone who might be teasing you instead of lashing out. He seems to have gotten the hang of it rather quickly and has not had an incident in about a week now.

The rest of this week Baleigh and I are going to dedicate to fixing all the little odds and ends projects that we have not completed yet. It seems as soon as we get one job done 15 more pop up to take its place. I can't wait to be fully complete with the house. It will be such an amazing feeling when it is DONE! That should be about when we are ready to sell it. : )

The time has also come to start thinking about Christmas and what we will be doing for that. We know that we will be spending it with Jake's side of the family this year but I need to start working on gifts. This year we have decided to make it all HOME MADE! We will be coming up with more inventive ideas this year on what gifts will mean the most.

The Peggy Sue Frunch Room - finished but need updated pictures.

When we bought it

Bland white, beige carpet

Patched walls, prepped for color - My birthday present!

New (to us) couch, refinished coffee table that was Jake's dad's way back in the day. The little side table is a roadside find (actually an old sewing table).

New curtains have been added since this was taken and a Cinnamon colored recliner is in the right corner

The Peggy Sue Fireside room makeover - still in progress

We are still working on completing the front of the fireplace but there is a plan in the works. We will be installing the new doors this weekend and then covering over where the gross fake brick was with a stone front. The mantle is actually an old hand hewn log from my parents' 100 yr old barn. It is going to look spectacular when it is finished. I can't wait to decorate it for the holidays. 

Our "Fireplace" room when we bought it

View from the kitchen complete with saloon doors

View of the driveway showing off the "fabulous" carpet and concrete ledge

Serving as a work space in the AC with no dust so I could paint kitchen cabinets

After Mr Nielsen tore down that wall

One more drywall wall to come out

Taking down the final piece of drywall

New lighting courtesy of my fantastic brothers Clayton, Caleb and some consulting by Chad. Paint by Jake and me one late Saturday night

New furniture and I finally got my treadmill back in the house!

View from the window 

The Peggy Sue Kitchen Makeover - From June to August

Kitchen when we bought it

Kitchen on moving day

Kitchen after the wall came out

Kitchen before skim coating walls

Walls finished, upper cupboard doors on - Almost there

Kitchen with the fridge in its final resting place, new flooring and all the cupboard doors on.

Painted kitchen countertops

Kitchen window prior to the new trim and valance

All done!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lobsterfest 2012!!!

  

Thor watched a video of how to "butcher" the lobsters that we got today and was giving me step by step instructions. I was pretty impressed with the attention he paid to the chef he watched on YouTube.

We got the lobsters as an "anniversary" gift to Jake and me because today marked 12 years that we have been together as a couple. The grocery store that is about a block from our house was selling live Lobsters that you could either have cooked there or take home and cook  yourself. We decided that we would have them do the cooking! The lobster "dissembling" was easier that I had anticipated. Its really kind of like cleaning a big shrimp -except that the claw meat is where it is at. So good! Baleigh was not really that impressed and decided that she would be happy eating leftovers after trying her two obligatory bites. : ) It was a first time for me eating lobster and overall a pretty neat experience.