Over the course of the last 6 weeks I have finished reading three parenting books. The first was by Dr Kevin Leman and is entitled Have a New Kid by Friday. It was followed by author John Rosemond adn his book The Well Behaved Child. Topping it all off was The Stay-at-home-Dad Handbook by Peter Baylies. All were really eyeopening but best of all was John Rosemond's book (thanks mom). He really reaffirmed the techniques (in an easier to understand way) that Dr Leman taught.
I was inspired by the books and a friend of mine who recently started a schedule with her boys to put more structure in their day. Jake and I agreed that it will make the days go more smoothly if the kids have somethings to look forward to(so we have some leverage on "encouraging" them to do what we tell them to).
The biggest change is having the TV off for the majority of the day. Although we do watch alot of educational TV the kids tend to play more and have a much calmer day when it is not on.
The kids also helped to strip their room of all but clothes, beds, two stuffed animals each and a basket of books. When they choose to make an unwise decision such as interrupt adults when they are speaking (unless it is an emergency - bleeding, sick, or badly hurt), fighting with each other(includes tattling), or not completing a job when they have been specifically tasked with it they will lose a ticket. They get 5 tickets for the day (to be shared between them) and if at any point they use all 5 tickets they will be confined to their room for the remainder of the day. They are allowed out for meals and to use the bathroom. One will be in our room and the other will be in their room. Once we have these three target behaviors under control we will add others to the list.
We are hoping that this creates a more calm, quiet home. The hard part is actually doing it. The surprising part is that our kids LOVE helping to sort the laundry, make their own beds, dust the furniture, and pick up clothes. Who would have thought that work was so much fun? It also has the added benefits of teaching them life skills and keeping them out of mischief when mom and dad are trying to get daily tasks accomplished.
I'll keep you all posted on how things are going.
Isn't it amazing how the schedule makes such a difference? I think we forget as adults how out of control you feel when you have no idea what is happening or needs to happen in your day. We can think it through and know what needs to be done (then choose when or if we want to do it). But kids are happy to do just about anything because it IS all a learning experience and they can't think of it on their own!
ReplyDeleteThe ticket idea and pared down room ideas are cool. I might have to do the same with Kiah's room, because all those toys are such a distraction for sleep, time-outs, etc. We use a magnet board of chores and behaviors and that has helped Kiah quite a bit with his attitude and responsibilities. It's so complicated to be a parent!