Lately Baleigh has been asking lots of questions that I am not exactly sure if I am answering properly. She has been very interested in where babies come from and how exactly babies start from eggs but are still mammals.
We have had talks about how babies start as an egg and then it is fertilized. We looked at chicken eggs and she understands that babies start out as eggs but not how they are born alive and not "hatch" from the eggs. I never realized how difficult it is to describe the whole gestation process.
She loves hearing the story of the day that she was born and one day last week she asked me how she got out of my tummy. I hesitated for a moment and then told her how she emerged. She was a little grossed out but I figured I would rather give her the real info now and then we won't have to have an even more awkward conversation years from now. I also told her that some babies are born via c-section to keep babies safe. She was very interested in that process but the next day she told me that she would not want a doctor to cut her tummy to get a baby out so she wanted her babies to be born like she was. Obviously it is something that she thinks about a lot.
I guess the question is, how early is too early to reveal certain realities, and how much information is too much information? I never felt as though my parents were forthcoming with information on sex and babies and topics that tend to be uncomfortable to talk about with kids. I want to make sure that my kids feel comfortable coming to me and talking about these things. I don't want topics to see taboo. I have always felt that eduction and communication go hand in hand. We can't expect our kids to be educated on things if we won't/can't talk to them about them. I only worry that I may be sharing the information too early and it scares me that I am doing it wrong. Thoughts?
I heard some great advice that has helped my approach to information with kids. Because I'm of the same mind that I want my kids to get real answers to questions and not be embarrassed about their bodies, sex, etc. The advice was to answer questions very basically and see what the kid's reaction is. If they ask more questions, continue with basic, incremental answers because often they don't really want to know all the details. Answer the questions simply and see where they take it.
ReplyDeleteAnother piece of advice that goes hand in hand is to be OK with telling them that they aren't yet old enough to know something. Some information is more of a burden (especially things that would freak them out, make them worry, etc.) then they should have at certain ages. It's not that you aren't being honest, it's that you are being their protector for a time.
It sounds like you've answered Baleigh pretty well. I've had the same kinds of fears about too much information and at times made K freaked out because I went a little too far with my honesty. I think when you feel you get to the point where the kids have gotten accurate, good answers, but more would go too far, then tell them that they don't need to know anything else right now but you will explain it when they are a bit older and able to understand. Hope that helps! This is complicated parenting territory!
I like the idea of being able to say that they are not old enough for information. Its not a cop out and it may stop the questions - even if it is only for a little while. THanks Sarah.
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