To follow up on the blog I wrote last month, I wanted to make a few clarifications. I am not nearly as on fire as I was at that moment, and would like to clear misunderstandings up. A sister brought it to my attention after reading it, that I was pretty harsh and wanted to know why I was so angry.
Well, every week I take Baleigh to story time and to ballet and Awana. Every week the same
catty mothers sit around in their little circle (literally) talking about their lives. These are the moms who went to grade school and highschool together, they met boys in the same small town and got married at the same time, and then they had babies at the same time and seem to do everything as a perfect little group. I have tried to get to know them on several occasions and have all but been treated like a leper (now I get how guys in bars feel approaching a group of girl - terrified).
So I was angry and I lashed out. I did all the things I was judging them for in my rant, I judged them for #1, judging other moms(especially the working ones- that really struck a nerve), and #2, putting out there how awesome their lives are then I "judged" them for "pretending". Maybe their lives really are perfect. Maybe they really do have it all. Why do I care? Maybe in a little way I was jealous of it (a very little way : )). I realized this past week with our anniversary and having some time alone with my own amazing spouse that if I wanted, I too could brag about my amazing family. The husband of a friend of mine, was on FB the other day saying how he likes to only put uplifting types of messages on his status so that people come away with the best feeling possible when they read his page. That is what these girls are doing. They are just putting out the best possible parts of themselves so that everyone feels good. OK, I get it. I will never be one of those people, maybe because of how I was raised; but I think it was put in to perspective for me. Some people have to only talk about the good stuff in public because that may be the one good thing they have going for them.
I apologize if I offended some of you (if you are even still reading the blog) and am going to take a page out of Jim's book and write more positive things. There are already so many negatives in life, why dwell on them? This is part of why I purged my FB about a week or two ago as well. I am cleaning out the stuff that doesn't make me a better person. If the other mom's at story time don't want to be friends - cool - I don't know why I feel the need to try and be accepted by them because our kids has a class together. I have 3 amazing sister in laws and 2 amazing sisters and several friends from the surrounding area who I love dearly and should be cultivating relationships, with rather than trying to get a random group of women to be my friends. October is my month to "clean house" so to speak. I am going to make me a better person and stop concerning myself with all the truly unimportant external distractions.
